in case you were wondering...

don't worry about me though. i only have one more bag left in my house.

very important question...

milk chocolate

or

semi sweet?

like if you were to grab a bag of chocolate chips from the cupboard and eat half the bag...which would you grab?

not that i've ever done that. or at least done it tonight.

give aways

there are so many amazing things people are giving away. i love them all. look at this bag.

and one of my favorite friends is giving away amazing things too. 

if only i could find something to give away...

girls night out

I had an awesome night last night. Joy, Katy, Teresa and I celebrated Katy's birthday with dinner and Forgotten Carols. We laughed our heads off, ate yummies, and got ourselves into the Holiday spirit. I'll post pictures as soon as I can steal them from Joy.

Then to top it off, I came home to this:


And I'm not sure who had the better night.

lucky duck

Guess who's going to China in May?

...who has always wanted to go...
...and gets to go for 3 weeks...
...and is flying for free...
...and is going with one of his mission buddies who also speaks Chinese...
...and is so excited he can't even speak?

J.

I'm so excited for him. And I'm already planning all of the places I can go to pass the time.

thanksgiving

thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. what could be better than sitting around all day and cooking? and then devouring what you've made? i love it.

we had thanksgiving last saturday before drew went into the mtc. it was fantastic. pretzel salad, jello ribbon salad, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes cranberry relish, brussel sprouts, corn, rolls, pumpkin roll, apple crisp, peppermint ice cream, etc. fabulous.

but we're doing it again on thursday, and i'm so happy to be doing it again. this time we will be doing it at our house, and serving it on my china. this will be our first holiday in our own home. we can't wait.

of course, they only had 20 pound turkeys at costco, which is way more than jayson, joy, katy, mae and i can eat. so we're looking for friends to share our day with. do you have a place for thanksgiving? if you do, is there anyone you know of that needs a place to eat turkey at? we'd be happy to have anyone.

gobble gobble gobble!

made

I made her.


I still can't get over it.

and...

I snagged him.


Still not over that one either.

follow up on the sads.

Wow guys. I can't say thank you enough for your incredibly kind words and sympathy. I was not expecting the comments, calls, texts, gifts, and invitations each of you gave me. I was pretty overwhelmed yesterday by what wonderful friends I have. Thank you, again and again and again.

I learned a few things from this experience:
1. I love my family tremendously and still need them in my life.
2. I am surrounded by angels--friends who are in tune with what is going on and are willing to drop everything to help.
3. Miscarriage is hard, no matter how far along in your pregnancy you are.
4. The Lord watches out for me. The miscarriage happened in the best possible way and at a time that was, honestly, perfect.
5. I am so amazingly lucky to have a nearly perfect daughter who came effortlessly to us.
6. I'm uncomfortable with being sad. I repress my feelings, pretend I'm not sad, and do anything I can to fake that I'm okay. I likewise have a really really hard time asking for help. I don't think this is good.
7. Both of my MTC companions independently told me to turn to the scriptures. My mission was and still is incredibly important to my spiritual development.
8. Turns out a haircut does me right. (I didn't cut it all off. Pheh.)
9. So does Wii fit. And they're sold out everywhere (target, kmart, circuit city, best buy, walmart, and everywhere online) but Gamestop in Springville.
10. Service also helps me quite a bit. And sending a package from Art City Pharmacy to the MTC only costs $1.50.
11. I found out my husband is really sensitive and wants more children badly. And he wants camera gear, a honda lawnmower, or any firearm (check out his anonymous comment).
12. Catering at a wedding reception dominated by BYU students really boosts your self esteem. I haven't been that popular since ... well, I'm pretty sure I've never been that popular.

Thank you again, dear friends, for your support and love. Life gives us opportunities to grow. I hope I've grown over these last few weeks.

xoxo

the sads

We have a phenomenon in our family (perhaps in yours?) called "the sads." It comes after we spend time together and then have to return home to life/home. It's not a recent thing--I remember getting "the sads" sending my oldest brother back to college after Thanksgiving when I was 7 years old. The sads still happen every time one of my siblings comes into town and then leave, but it's always ten times more extreme when we all get together. Such as happened this weekend.

I've been saying goodbye all week, and it hasn't been pretty. Kendra last Saturday; Kevin and kids on Sunday; Tyler and family on Tuesday; Drew, Amy, and Shannon on Wednesday, and my MOM on Thursday. Of course I miss them all, but goodbye's to Drew and my Mom just about did me in. I was a mess yesterday. Random tears all day.

I'm pretty sad.

Throw in that I put Jayson on a plane this morning to go to Portland for a funeral (I'm alone!!) and a very recent miscarriage that I'm almost able to talk about--I'm hardly eating anything but milkshakes and cookies. Which isn't helping how I'm feeling.

I cope by shopping (retail therapy) and eating crap, neither of which are really healthy. These two options are not really helping right now--I don't feel like shopping because I gained weight during my short pregnancy, in addition to commiting long ago not to buy clothes until after I had another baby. And eating crap really really isn't helping because I really don't want to gain even more weight. Pleh.

I'm not really looking for sympathy, I'm looking for help. How do you bounce back from a hard few days? How do you cope? And how do you cope with a two year old around?

I'm about to cut my hair, or buy wii fit. I have happy music blaring to try and keep me positive, but I'm afraid I'm going to do something drastic. Stop me!

elder livingstone

elder livingstone (my favorite younger brother) went into the mtc today.

don't get me started on how much i miss him already.

seriously, this kid knocks my socks off. i love him dearly dearly. he's been one of my favorite people for pretty much ever. there aren't any siblings between us, so i always hung out with him and mothered him way too much. i couldn't help it, i just love the kid. now he's off to face the great big world. and he'll be a fantastic missionary. i'm so excited for him--being at the mtc today reminded me how much i adored the mtc. and my mission.

the good news is he started a blog. i posted today, but the posts should generally be written by him (posted by me). so you can all read his adventures as a missionary in the chile santiago east mission. http://elder-deadrock.blogspot.com.

if you want to catch up on my parents mission, check it out here.

and if you ever want to be blessed beyond belief, send your parents and your younger brother on a mission. amen.

love aloha.

if you were wondering if we had a good time in hawaii--

today we walked into church and on the stand was the utah polynesian choir. a couple dozen polynesians in conservative suits, bright red leis, and beautiful voices. they performed in our sacrament meeting, and sang in hawaiian and english. during the first song they sung in hawaiian, jayson cried.

i unpacked after church. i opened up my suitcase and smelt the salty, sandy, wet hawaiian smell and i cried.

[taken from our patio our first morning at sunrise]

i'd go back tomorrow if i could. and i might never come back.

maybe someday i'll get around to telling you all of the wonderful things we did while we were there. but talking about it might be too painful. i know that sounds extreme--i tell you, i love that place more than i can explain here.

we're already planning december 2009. and 2010. and 2011, 2012, etc. anyone want to come with us?

downer.

The only downer about laying out on the beach in paradise all day--

this. oh mercy, this.

we miss our little girl a lot, but she is loving life with grandpa and grandma. she has refused to talk to us the last 3 times we've called. we're trying not to take it personally.

aloha.

laundry: done
vote: check
medical release: completed
fridge: cleaned
tulips: planted
sheets: washed
bills: paid
work: taken care of
bags: packed
daughter: staying home with gpa & gma

and now i'm ready to leave tomorrow morning to go here:



[long sighs and deep breaths].

ALOHA!

photo courtesy of Jonathan Canlas, who will be teaching a workshop Jayson will be attending.

two!

Mae turned two today. What can I say about this girl? She's adorable. And spunky. And she's starting to show signs of being two. But I've never loved a little thing more than I love this girl.

I stayed up a little too late and went a tinsy bit overboard (really, 3 dozen balloons?). But I don't plan well and then in the heat of the moment I get a little carried away. Staying up until 4:30 wasn't a really good idea. I decorated, wrapped, frosted, boiled noodles, cleaned, made a bunting, did laundry, etc. But it turned out really cute. And it's all worth it for this cute birthday girl.

She loved waking up to the balloons, and a breakfast of Mickey Mouse pancakes. I should say that ever since we went to disneyland, this girl's been obsessed with the Mouse.



We then quickly ran out the door to cook dawgs at the football game. She was pretty impatient, but I can't say I blame her. It was mostly okay though because she had her new tinkerbell doll from Sheekie.

And it was okay too because it meant she could watch Cougar Football. We only stayed for half of the second quarter, but it was enough for her to see some action and get home in time for a long overdue nap.

We had some friends/family over for dinner tonight with a Mae-centered menu: mac and cheese (not really kraft), peas, grapes, and Mickey Mouse chicken nuggets.

Here is the bunting I made. Everyone seems to be making these lately, and I think they're pretty adorable. It was pretty bootstrapped since I decided to make it at midnight last night.

Mae's favorite aunts, Joy and Katy. At least the one's that spoil her WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much.


I hate to say it, but her cake was pretty amazing. I was so impressed with how it turned out. It tasted even better than it looked, which is a feat because I don't usually love cake. But this one was delicious. I followed these instructions, used this box cake (and froze it, which I think helped even more), and used this recipe for frosting (probably the best part). The best tasting cake I've ever made, hands down.

The ears should have been a little closer, asthetically and structuraly (one of the ears fell off 5 minutes before we started singing). But Minnie's pretty cute anyway.


Singing and blowing out the candle.


We opened presents too. Mae got quite a bit of dress up things, including this too adorable Minnie Mouse costume. You can't really see them in this picture, but it also includes some ridiculous yellow high heels. Ridiculous=too cute for words.

She also got some "Little Miss" things (as in, little miss chatterbox, little miss naughty, etc.). We've been pretty into these characters this last month. She loves Little Miss Chatterbox, and sometimes I think it's because she's Little Miss Chatterbox.


What a day we had! She was pretty spoiled today, but I guess it's okay because we did only half of the spoiling. Mae is a loved and adored little girl and has incredibly generous family and friends.

Mae's growing up fast, and we're just trying to savor the days and take it all in. Happy birthday Mae!

bittersweet

I thought I should mention that I was released last Sunday from Young Womens. It's bittersweet. I love these girls. I adore the Young Women leaders.


Being in Relief Society today was a really foreign feeling. It was a fantastic lesson and I left feeling uplifted and reflective. They took the time to welcome me back, which was so kind and thoughtful. I'd missed the sisterhood of the Relief Society during the last three years. But it was still weird being there.

The same Spirit that calls you to a position, also calls for you to be released. It was time for me to move on.

If I just didn't miss these girls so much....

my favorite new blog

http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com

I pretty accurate composite of you, me, and about every blog I read. It's a satire, so don't be offended. Just find the humor in it and laugh your head off.

what do you do...

...if you don't like either of them?

messy house, full heart.

I was walking around my house tonight, totally mortified of how messy it was. Jayson and I kept wishing it was as immaculate as it was last week. It felt so clean and beautiful last week, and this week it's a disaster area.

Tonight we had a lot of friends at our house that we were not necessarily expecting. I really like to have a clean house when friends are coming over for the first time. It was so great to see them all; to eat, chat, and spend time with them. I loved it, but I can't deny that I was so embarrassed at the state of my house

After they left I started to pick up, and I had a really important moment. I realized that 95% of the mess/disaster/clutter was caused by service opportunities we had had this week. Jayson's scout bag. Our 72 hour kits (we needed some things for the last minute inactive scout who joined the camp out). My bag from staying over and taking care of my sister in law. Toys from adorable kids that we got to watch. Snow gear so our friends from out of town wouldn't freeze at the football game. Dishes from having dear friends over. You get the picture.

I would so much rather have the full heart and messy house I have now, than a pristine house and none of these experiences. It's been an unusual week for us with how much we've been able to give to friends, family, neighbors, and strangers. I wouldn't change any of it. If my house ever looks like this again for the reason it does tonight, perhaps I won't even apologize for how messy it is. Because my heart will be singing like it is right now.

I hope to have more weeks like this one.

projects

General Conference weekend means mission reunions for Jayson and I. For Jayson's mission reunion this year, President and Sister Hart were looking to do something different, and Jayson suggested we do it at our house. We love parties, so we decided to make it happen.

We were really excited, but also quite intimidated about having President and Sister Hart at our home, as well as all of the missionaries. So it's been two full weeks of projects to get our house ready. We could have used two more.

If you're having a mission reunion at your house, you might:

Sand, prime, and paint your pillars and trim.
Sand, prime, and paint the bench you found in the garbage two years ago.
Paint the concrete that's been peeling for two years. We did all this to the front porch too.


Weed, weed, weed. Mow and edge the lawn. Transplant a few of your plants to new places. Fertilize.

Clean the back patio. You may not have found time to water seal the new fence.

You may also have not found a coffee table and rug that you could decide on.

But you might have FINALLY printed, framed, and hung family pictures.


And rearranged the living room furniture, again.



Painted the kitchen (Sorry Karrie, your wreath never made it back to your house. Do you want it back?)

(I love love love this color). "Quietude" by Sherwin Williams. Very similar to a color in the pottery barn catalog. The pictures don't do it justice.


We finally found a place to hang these windows. They'd been in my room for almost 2 years. I loved them, but we could never really find a place to put them. I like them in the kitchen.


We moved this desk and computer into the kitchen from the guest room. And hung the hubcap from Jayson's '53 chevy truck.

Cleaned the carpets. Don't judge us. They're disgusting, I know (this was the before picture).


And cleaned all of the closets, floors, baseboards, walls, doors, bathrooms, etc, etc. (no picture for this, sorry).

We changed Mae's room from a nursery to a toddler room. Big girl bed. No more snuggly rocking chair (it's moved to our room).


We hung Mae's alphabet (thanks K!), and set up a table and chairs for her to play at. (she loves it).


We served these adorable mini dawgs--half dawgs in their own little bun. They're so cute I could kiss them.

We also served the infamous baked beans, Laurie's salad (DELISH!), and strawberry lemonade. And desert? Smart Cookie.

I bought a few new dishes (they're not all new).


Tried new candy--candy corn kisses. Don't gag until you try them.


Then I kissed this man (how could I not?).


The reunion was a hit. I think everyone had a really good time, and we had a pretty good turn out.

And now...we're headed to the cabin to recover. I almost feel like our house should be for sale now or something, it's so beautiful and clean!

have i mentioned how much i hate my banner?

(i'm sure most of you never see it from google reader).

i need some help.

3+3=heaven

3 days at the cabin + just the 3 of us. amazing.

swinging.

(yes, she is wearing a dress and lounge pants. you can do that at the cabin).

lunch at the weber river.



she screamed her first ride, then wouldn't stop asking for rides on the "motocytle."


horses. mountains. trees. fresh air. wonderful.

for a good cause

I'd been asking, begging, pleading for a few years. But the answer was no every time. "Not until it comes out in hi-def," was Jayson's answer. I agreed, for the most part, but the horrible personality flaw of one-track-mindedness (is that a word?) got the best of me sometimes. Jayson had recently relented and told me that if they didn't announce a hi-def unit by Christmas, that we would get one. I was pretty satisfied with that.

But yesterday was amazing.

It was the school carnival for Hillcrest Elementary where Joy teaches. We had to go and support her because she's a rockstar. The best part of the carnival was the silent auction where we hovered for a few hours. Jayson and I each had our things we were bidding on. We didn't want to win many of them, but we really wanted to prices to go high so the school would earn a lot of money.

Near the end of the auction, I was especially hovering around the wii, wishing I could bid. And then I realized...if we're going to get one anyway, I would much rather buy it at the auction where I know the money will go to the school than to target. GENIUS! How could either of us resist supporting such a noble cause?


We won. We love it. I'm so tickled. And both Jayson and I have tennis shoulder today.

p.s. I won't even tell you how many auctions we won. Or how many rounds of golf Jayson will be playing here soon.

drew

After a long wait and much anticipation, my little brother Drew received his mission call. He opened his call at my brother Kirk's house, but all of my brothers and sisters were on the phone, as well as my parents (who woke up at 4:00 in the morning).

A few of you might know what this means to Drew, to my parents, and to my family in general. It's taken Drew a little bit longer to get here, but I know his experiences will make him a better missionary. We're so proud of him and his decision to serve a mission.

dress up