Wednesday, April 23, 2008

get me a rifle. now.

What's wrong with this picture?


Where are my tulips? I swear they were there yesterday. I know they were. I was admiring them for quite some time. Could they all have died? I did some investigating...


That tulip is new...so where did the other ones go? They didn't die, the head is just cut off. WHAT!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! Where have the heads to ALL my tulips gone?! My blood was boiling. I was SO MAD. This was my first year planting tulips and I've waited for 6 months to see them bloom!

At first I was SURE that it was some punk kid who stole them for prom. Or who cut the heads off to be funny. Or who was just lame in general. OOOOOOOh, and I was going to find him. I was going to the police if I had to.

I wandered the block. I checked out all the neighbors yard. Some people were missing a tulip or two, but no one had the damage we had. I asked all the neighbors if they had seen anything suspicious. No one had, but steam was coming out of my ears. "I'm going to find that stupid kid!!"


Finally I made it to the Carr's yard. I started talking to Wally and he suggested it might be deer. He said he'd seen a few deer and there were droppings in his yard this morning. Come to think of it, I had seen a deer bolt through my yard yesterday. But it couldn't be deer, could it? Just the tulips were gone, no daffodils. Surely it was a kid who wanted just tulips for prom. Wally told me that deer don't eat daffodils. He asked if just the head was gone...yes. Turns out deer only like the head, or the bulb if they're feeling feisty.

I walked back to my yard to settle the dispute. Deer tracks everywhere. It WAS deer. Stupid, silly, prancing, white tailed deer.

Get me my rifle and sign me up for deer hunting next season.

12 comments:

Sheli said...

We feel your pain! We have the same problem with rabbits in our yard. Chris plants new flowers about every weekend and they come and eat the dang things! Stupid rabbits!

Scotty and Deb said...

Two suggestions: 12 foot electrified fence, motion detector with remote alert (like the one we have on our driveway).

Option two is much cheaper.

the Ricks said...

Oh, I am so upset right along with you!! Remember how I freaked about the snow? Yeah, I would be out there with a rifle right now, I swear. Get some good venison. Lame, lame, lame!! Have you ever seen that movie The Rookie (isn't that the one about the guy from Texas who became a major league pitcher in his late 30s)? They surrounded the area the deer were getting at with human hair - the deers hated the smell and wouldn't cross it. Maybe the local barber will help you out and you can surround your house with hair? Yuck, but still!

SNSsoup said...

Oh that is HILLARIOUS! I'm happy you don't own a rifle or a permit to go deer hunting- I'd be so sad for those poor deer.

Anonymous said...

Lets talk about the positive - my grass looks amazing

J

SharTrevHarp said...

wow. this is CRAZY, FRUSTRATING, & HILARIOUS all at once! I'm sorry for your tulips. Maybe your tulips are feeding the most needy of all the Springville deer...it's a SERVICE project!!
;)
ha. By the way. The other day after you posted pics of your dawgs, I went to a local establishment & ordered a hot dog. I was appalled & annoyed at the lack of flavor or excitement...I'm craving j-dawgs!

austinamasandra said...

I'm sorry, I was reading and feeling mad along with you. We have the same problem here with deer eating our garden and the new trees we plan and also the rabbits...they have NO respect for our hard work.... :)

darcie said...

So sorry about your tulips, it looks like they would have been beautiful because the new one is. I'm jealous of how green your grass is, it looks amazing! I should send you a picture of our pathetic yard and you'd feel much better.

The Watsons said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm laughing and crying right along with you. In the movie "The Rookie," they spread around human hair. But it doesn't sound like these deer are put off by human scent. I like the motion detector with a light.

So sorry, Heides!!!

Amy Jorgensen said...

yes, J, your lawn rocks! We have a yard full of tulips that are just about to bloom, and I am TERRIFIED of the deer and the bunnies. We have visits from them both frequently. I'm sick for you, and I will be sick for me if mine don't make it. Who would have thought in the middle of Springville Utah, and Philadelphia there would be deer? Let's go shoot us some deer, Heidi!

Carey said...

Okay I was killing myself....maybe for a different reason than everyone else. I do remember being a kid and a friend and I picking flowers from people's gardens. I believe my mom found out and I got in some serious trouble. As a kid though I couldn't ever figure out the big deal. My husband is now a totally anal gardener so he would so be steaming about finding tulips looking like that. Your post then got even funnier when it was BAMBI!! Get the gun and stake out!

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