Tuesday, February 24, 2009

today...


...i realized something very important.

i've been avoiding my blog. can you tell? there are a lot of contributing factors--real logistical things that have kept me off the computer. but a lot of it has been emotional. i'm not sure when i developed such a bad attitude towards blogging, but i did. i think i got overwhelmed reading everyone else's blogs, and just feeling like i had nothing important to contribute to the blogosphere.

there are lots of reasons people blog--make money, keep a journal, make new friends, hobby, outlet, etc. i started my blog because my parents went to africa, and i missed them. and i know myself, and know that i am a really inconsistant letter writter. and i wanted to keep in touch. and i figured this would be a way to keep in touch with them, and at the same time keep in touch with my family and some of my friends.

somewhere last year, that all became mushy in my head. i thought that i had to do something more with my blog. because my blog isn't really that interesting if you don't know me, and sometimes even if you do know me. and there are so many interesting blogs out there, that mine would get lost in the mix.

well, let it get lost.

each comment i received yesterday and today from my classic skaing post sent me through the roof. it was like i had a route 44 diet coke each time, it was a total high. i savored every word. i shared something that was, in all reality, pretty boring and some of my loved ones took the time to tell me thanks for sharing. i read a blog that often gets tens of thousands of comments--i got eight--from a couple of dear friends, a cousin, a nephew, a long lost friend, and some mission companions. i'm so about quality, not quantity. who cares if a stranger ever makes it to my blog. i don't blog for them.

i blog for you. because i love you--my family and friends, and i like sharing things with you. and i love it when you share back. it's like we're having a conversation, which is so important to me. but the reality is the day is too short to have all the conversations i want. so i can have some of them here.

thank you, as always, for reading. i count my family and friends as my greatest blessing. i hope to be more consistant here. i've missed it in a lot of ways.

19 comments:

Christa Jeanne said...

And we've all missed you too, Heidi! I love being able to stay connected with you and Becky and so many other amazing people whose life paths have crossed mine over the years. I just reorganized my blog feeds today to find I subscribe to more than 130 blogs by friends like you. Crazy!!! But I lap up entries from each, even if it's just the mundane, everyday minutia of life. It's so fun to share those common experiences, to see that everyone else is as boring/crazy/unsure as I am. It's so validating.

And you could never be boring, my dear, even if you tried. Ever. Still have those Billy Bob teeth? Yeah, awesome. :)

janae said...

Okay, you just wrote straight from my mind. I swear. I have had a lot of the same emotions. I do my blog for a journal, but so often I worry about posting 'boring' things. I have to remind myself that I post for ME first and foremost, and for my family and friends second. Who cares about random strangers??

(Honestly, why would anyone blog stalk me anyway? I don't stalk hardly anyone. My sister's friend (she knows it). And Nie. And your friend 'That Girl in Brazil'. Mainly because she comments on a good number of my friend's blogs and I started getting curious. But she knows too. I'm not a very good stalker. I confess.)

Anyway, anyway. All this is to say that I love you. And to me, the ordinary of your life is extraordinary. :)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Hey, I was going to comment on your post yesterday but never got around to it and just say that I think your little girl is getting so big and pretty. And that I think all skating rinks must look exactly like they did in 1983. I think your blog is fun to read and we don't even know each other THAT well, but we both love Amy. So if you don't mind that an acquaintance occasionally drops in, you'll probably see more of me here. :)

I just wrote a post on my blog last Friday about WHY I blog, and one of the main reasons is the "conversation", so I totally get what you said about how fun it is to get comments from people who read what you have to say, and then have something to say back.

HILLARY said...

I feel the same way. I even hate it when there's contests (except the Pioneer woman). There's so much pressure. I am thankful to you for having a blog cause I got to reconnect with Amy. SO thank you for blogging! I always enjoy your post.... even though I don't always comment :) I read through reader, it simplifies my life!

Brandi,Dan & Lukas said...

I blog for myself because it is SO fun to look back and see what I and my family (mostly Lukas right now) were doing at the time. I don't find anyones blogs boring. I love reading other peoples blogs and getting to know them better through them. Also it is nice to know other famalies are just as ordinary as me.

Shelane said...

I think it's funny that when it comes down to it, the really cool/fun/everyone likes/i-wish-i-was-their-friend people (you) have basically the same insecurities and issues that we all have. Only not quite so many as I have because let's face it, not every can be this neurotic. You rock for acknowledging me in public!

Sharalea said...

I really enjoyed reading your post yesterday & enjoying the cuteness of your family at the skating rink--it was a busy day & with google reader I comment much less than I really want to, I just lose track of time.
THAT SAID,
You are fabulous, your blog is great and all of us who are Heidi-fans are glad to see and read your updates!!!
WE LOVE YOU!
:)

Sarah Johnson said...

I always love reading your blog. Life is in the little details we experience every day. And that is what interests me. I love your candor, your openness, your wit, and how you always cut to the chase. I love getting a tiny glimpse into your world, whenever I can!! xoxo

austinamasandra said...

I totally know how you feel...By the way I absolutly LOVE that picture, it's just so "real". sometimes we worry about putting pictures where we think we look good and we forget to put the ones that will bring a smile to the people that really know us.

Danielle said...

Eight comments is a LOT for me!!! I am proud. Also, I think your blog is one of my fav's.

Ruth said...

I love your blog... like seriously, it's one of the first to be checked when I open my google reader! I think I even found out about google reader from your blog...

Reading about your life--even the day-to day-things (or especially the day-to-day things)--helps me feel connected to you. Even though we now live so far away!

Ruth said...

i miss you. hope you make it to the mission reunion. wish i were there.

Harmony said...

I was trying to think of the word "blogoshpere" the other day. Then today I came to your blog and it was in your post! I was like, "yeah man! way to get in my head!"

Love you Heidi Ho! We should get together soon. Cuz... you know... we live so far away...

sarah (who also rarely updates her blog these days....and is trying not to care) said...

Heidi, you're awesome. This is a great post. I know what you mean about the whole comparing your blog to other blogs thing. It's horrible. I do it, too. Then it turns into this huge stress. Which is really not what any of us needs, yes?

Great photo, too. I love those snuggly times.

buttercup said...

Yeah! Heidi! You totally need to blog more because I LOVE reading your blog. And the amount of comments you get always makes me jealous! you are so loved and so many people want to know what's going on with you! Including me. So please start blogging again! Love you!

That Girl in Brazil said...

And I've missed YOU, beb.

Cuz I love you. Personally.

Neener, neener, neener.

darcie said...

I know I always say this but I love (and I really mean that) to read your blog! I am so happy you are back because I think you, Jayson and Mae have fun adventures and I never think that your life is boring. I am a huge fan of Dawg Eat Dawg and always will be!!

Denise Robertson said...

I love your blog, and glad that you're keeping it going. When blogs first started they were only words on the page. Now there are buttons, pictures, polls, yadda yadda. It's hard to keep up. I still can't figure out how to put a cool background on mine yet.

Mine is all about family history. I don't journal, so that's what my children will get to know me by.

I think you're awesome; same for the blog.

"Our Three Sons" said...

I am glad for the heads up on the roller coaster of blogging. I am really going to give it a go over here in Switzerland. Mainly for me as I do not journal in the traditional way. But if it makes you feel better there are definately those out there (Me) whose blogs are never even looked at by the family let alone friends or maybe a blog stalker or to. I love to peek into your lives and I am sorry I rarelly leave comments. I usually am lucky to read a single post to the end before being interupted and dragged away. Love and miss ya. Wish we were with you at Disneyland. Maybe you guys can come here in 6 months and do Disney Paris style with us.
Love ya, Jen